Mommy Home Going Celebration

This week I said good bye to my mom.  One of the most difficult things I've ever been faced with.  My mom was a beautiful woman, let me introduce her to you.

Her name is Teresa de Jesus (Hernandez) Arzola.  She was born in Guadalajara, Jalisco on October 3, 1956.  She was born into poor family and lost her father as a baby.  She immigrated to the US as a teen and met my Dad at a dance here in Dallas.  She always described that night as love at first sight! She said it was as if a spotlight shone on my Dad and she was instantly attracted to him.  So began the romance that lasted 35+ years.  As with most marriages there were ups and downs, and along the way came Ruby my oldest sister, Alex, Me, Stacy and the baby of the family Madaline. 

Mom always loved the Lord, and she made it a point to bring us up in church.  My earliest memories are of Easter Sunday's when she bought us new matching outfits and made sure we looked our best for the Lord on His special day.  I also remember her teaching me to pray, every night was spent on our knees.  Many nights I faked falling asleep because I wanted an excuse to go to bed!  Little did I know then the value of prayer she was instilling in me (1 Thess 5:17).

Mom was faithful to attend church daily.  She taught me the importance of the body of Christ and corporate worship (Hebr 10:25).  Mom visited the sick at hospitals, nursing homes and homes.  She believed in giving to others in need, she gave through her prayers, her tears of compassion, and her listening ear.  People were so blessed by my mom they often gave her gifts, most of which she re-gifted, because she loved to give.  She didn't have much but she gave it away joyfully.  She understood the principle of storing up treasures in heaven (Matt 6:20) and how not to covet the material things.  Mom loved singing and praising the Lord in the dance, she took every opportunity to be around other believers (Psalms 122:1). 

Mom was a social butterfly and knew all her neighbors by name, how many children they had, pets, family history.... well you get my point.  She enjoyed meeting new people, making new friends and sharing the love of Christ every opportunity she had (1 Peter 3:15).

Most of all I must say my mommy suffered well.  That may sound hard to wrap your mind around because how do you suffer well?  She never raised her hand against God, she never blamed anyone for her pain and suffering, instead she accepted her circumstances, prayed for healing and trusted in God.

I hope you can caught a glimpse of what a great woman of God she was.  She left a legacy of love and humility, kindness and compassion.   Most important she left a legacy of her love for Jesus.  These words and my descriptions do little justice to express my true thoughts and emotions.  I didn't get to tell you how great of a wife, mom and grandma she was. I will save those memories for another day.  I'd love to share them with you.  We always say life is to short and I agree that it is, like my husband shared this morning in his sermon - Life is to short, Eternity is long, Invest wisely - I believe my mom lived it to the fullest, invested wisely in the eternal and is enjoying eternity with the Heavenly Father.

Teresa de Jesus Arzola Oct 3, 1956 - August 31, 2012

This To Shall Pass... Or Will It?

It was like there was this fog over my head, it put a damper in my mind and emotions, and well I'm to easily swayed by my emotions so from my lips came negative words. The Word says, "..out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" (Luke 6:45), and my heart was revealing way to many truths for me to take in. Why was I so overwhelmed? Why did I let every little thing bother me? Yeah, I could blame it on PMS, but Jesus didn't make any exceptions in the bible for our "women days". Did he? No I suppose not. Finally I cracked, I couldn't take the pressure any more, I had to stop the busyness and think, really think about my attitude and the condition of my heart. What was it that was really bothering me, why had I allowed my mind to wander so and my lips to say such negative things. As I searched my heart and cried out to the Lord I realized, it had been all to long since I had deep and meaningful fellowship with my God. I missed him. I was disconnected, I wasn't spending enough time on my knees or enough time in prayer.



This is my confession. I apologized to my God for being negelctful, how could I allow this crack in our relationship? In order to move forward and overcome I had to know what it was I was overcoming. What is at the bottom of it all? What or who has hurt me or disappointed me, where have I failed? What have I done that may have caused somone pain? I prayed, "Search me O God and know my heart, try me and know my thoughts" (Psalms 139:23).



It never ceases to amaze me how faithful our God is. Even Job experienced a period of silence from God before thier discourse unraveled the truth behind his sufferings. In the end Job refused to curse God, instead he realized that though he might ask "Why Lord?" even when God didn't quite answer him, he found God to be so big and so wise that whatever he chose to do would work out in the end, so long as it was in line with the will of God. The Apostle Paul wrote about it in Romans 8:28 All things work together for good to those who love God.



I love God and after some examination of my own heart I realized I have a lot of work to do. It is my priviage and high calling to live a life that examplifies God with skin on, and I don't always make God look very good. I fail and I fall, I have walked thru valleys of despair and on mountain tops of glorious victory, and my constant prayer is "Lord teach me to be content wheather I have much or have little, wheather I am happy or sad, rich or poor". Not only do I need to be content with "things" but with circumstances that I have no control over. Sometimes you just have to leave it to God and other times you have to work at it.



I know God to be faithful to heal me, to save me, to help me, to change me, and to never give up on me. That is the God that I serve!

Another Loss Another Gain

Let me introduce myself. My name is Christina and I am a wife and working mother to 2 handsome little men, Chris 2 years and my 10 month old Caleb. I have been in love with the same wonderful man for 15 years.... straight! Yes I married my high school sweetheart at the age of 23 and we have been married for what will be 7 years in May.

These past couple of months have been a whirlwind of emotions. Our family was shocked to find out that my mother in law was diagnosed with breast cancer. When isn't it a surprise? Our family pulled together and re-evaluated our lives. News like this really makes you put things into perspective and being a believer in Jesus Christ I had to think really hard if I was where I needed to be and doing what I should be doing. Life is to short to waste pursuing foolishness. Was I pursuing foolishness? What were my priorities?

Well during the next few weeks the family grappled with the cold hard facts, what's next, surgery, radiation, chemo? Through it all my mother in law, a woman of faith and conviction, remained the a pillar of faith, she never complained. She remained positive and joyful, trusting in her God to take care of all her needs and to help her have a quick recovery.

During this time, my husband and I experienced what I will call an unintentional accident. I am very exact with recording my cycles and well needless to say the next day I pulled out my calendar and my calculator and figured there was a pretty sure chance of an unexpected surprise in nine months. Then there was the wait. Two weeks feels like an eternity when you are counting days. D-Day arrives and I decide it's time to take a test. One pink line, no biggie, let me finish my business. What?! Is that a second pink line??? Yup there it is light but it was still early. A flood of excitement overwhelms me, it's completely unexpected, its to soon, my baby is just 10 months old, Chris just turned two, I just went back to work... I'm happy to say I was more happy than anything. I quickly called my husband in to the room and told him. He stood there with a look of disbelief, is it really that easy, it was our first accident, a smile soon filled his face...

I couldn't help but calculate it all, that's how I am - very detailed. So it was going to be a Christmas baby, due December 18, I was already dreaming of a baby girl, bows and ribbons, puffy dresses, princess parties and a name, what could I name her?

The next week I quietly daydreamed and couldn't contain myself I told a few people, just a few, and swore them to secrecy, after all my husband wanted to wait to tell everyone later. I am already making frequent trips to the potty. Already?! Wait what is that? My heart sinks at the sight. Flashbacks of my past come to mind. I've been down this road before. Blood. Not much just enough to make me cry.

I told my husband and he encouraged me with sweet words. I prayed and told the Lord as I have before, let your will be done.

The next week the spotting stopped and the daydreams resumed. Until Thursday. Busy day at work, don't have time to have time to stop at the potty. Finally a break before I go home. Oh no, not again. I want to go home. This can't be good. I hope it stops. What if it doesn't?

I had just gone to the doctor that same day for blood work. It was to check my beta levels. I'll wait till the morning to call the doctor. After all, there isn't much they can do, it's to early. Morning comes and I make a call to the doctor. By blood work is in and the doctor agrees. I'm probably miscarrying because my beta levels have dropped to 3, Monday they were 17, they should be between 5 and 500 or so by now.

This was a first for me, yeah I've been here before but I never bled out, the doctors usually told me the bad news when I was far enough along that I had to have a D&C. Good news was I didn't have to have a D&C, bad news is I lost another baby.

To hard to focus, I have to leave. I quickly gather my things and rush home. I can no longer hold back the tears. I'm so upset, in between sobs I pray, God I know you can work miracles and that you have brought the dead back to life, maybe this can be one of those times. Maybe not. My immediate reaction was to run to my husband and have him hold me in his arms and tell me it will be ok and to reassure me of the truth I already know, God is in control and everything happens for a purpose. But he isn't here. He's out of town on business. So who do I run to? My mind runs down the list of loved ones and yet no one measures up. I know who I need to run to. He has always been there with open arms. I am not alone and never forsaken. I can find comfort. I pray for God to hold me close and I tell him how I feel. I make it home and climb into bed and open my bible, and read:

The God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.' 1Peter 5:10 I've found comfort in the arms of my Savior once again. I cry and read and pray. I find peace in the innermost part of my broken heart and I find hope.

Then a thought runs through my mind. What about all those women who have abortions? Do they suffer? Are they still in pain? Is there shame? Do they have regrets? I carried my baby for just a few weeks and I am sad at the loss of another baby, of what might have been. Do they feel the same and yet never tell anyone? How can they not? Isn't it a part of our makeup to feel the bond between mother and child?

I read in 2 Samuel 12:22-23 "He answered, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, 'Who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let the child live.' But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me." I believe I will see my four little ones in heaven one day. I am blessed. I can't wait to meet them and see them perfect and whole and in the most beautiful place ever created.

I gave a friend of mine the honor of naming our child - Samuel. 1 Samuel 1:27-28 I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD." And he worshiped the LORD there. 1 Samuel 2:18-21 But Samuel was ministering before the LORD -a boy wearing a linen coat. Each year his mother made him a little robe and took it to him when she went up with her husband to offer the annual sacrifice. Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife, saying, "May the LORD give you children by this woman to take the place of the one she prayed for and gave to the LORD." Then they would go home. And the LORD was gracious to Hannah; she conceived and gave birth to three sons and two daughters. Meanwhile, the boy Samuel grew up in the presence of the LORD.

If I have learned anything through this experience and the previous ones it is that I must always run to the Lord first. No one can comfort and care for me the way He does. Luckily He has blessed me with a wonderful husband who exemplifies God with skin on. I am also blessed to be surrounded by loved ones who care and more importantly pray for me.

I have also learned to have a compassionate heart for those women who may never have told anyone they had an abortion and may be living with pain even today days, months or years later. I want them to know the peace that only God can give and the forgiveness he offers to all of us. They are in my prayers.

I may never know why I've been through what I have been through these past 6 years but I do know I can trust in my God to work all things for my good. He will be praised in it all and deserves honorable mention.

I've practically written a book here, sorry I am so verbose. I hope you enjoyed reading a chapter in my life, I enjoyed sharing it with you.

God Bless.

New blogger

So I'm new to this blogging, motherhood, wife, etc. any advise??

Two sick babies

Why is it that when one of your babies is sick the other is sure to follow? Well Christopher my 18 month old came down with the sniffles and a runny nose and sure enough 3 month old Caleb caught the same symptoms a day later. So far Caleb's schedule hasn't changed much, he woke up a few extra times throughout the night but I'm hoping the once the prescription kicks in all should go back to normal. I swear I've been sleeping with one eye open and my ears at top volume, listening to every sneeze, sniffle and gurgle. The job of this Duncanville mommy has just begun. . .